Karma's a Pain in the Ass, Huh?
by Im Cerby
Summary: This is a story I decided to write, Grimmjow is a simple working man, Ichigo is an exotic dancer. Will they get together? Will there be more than blackmail sex? Will Ichigo ever walk straight again? All these disturbing questions and more will haunt you forever as you read on.
Grimmjow sighed as he got out of the white van and grabbed his tool bag. Locking the vehicle he sighed and looked up at the design on it. 'Hueco Mundo Maintenance Company!' was written on the side with a menos grande wearing a tool belt on it. It was a stupid design but he didn't make it so he just resigned to hating it every second he saw it. He walked into the building and used the elevator to go up to the penthouse suite. If he was lucky, this would be an easy fix and he would be done and out of here. He had spent the last three hours in waist deep shit water when a septic tank backed up into a basement and his car was nearly towed. Luckily he was able to intimidate the little tow truck driver into leaving the van alone, and had enough time to change into clean clothes. He was in a bright blue button up shirt and dark black work pants and black boots.

His thought process was interrupted as the elevator into the suite. The place was well furnished and very clean. It was better than the small apartment he had to stay in. He set the bag down and sighted, running his hands through his hair.

"Hueco Mundo Maintenance, where we save you a _gargantua_ amount!" He called out, feeling out like a jack ass. But if he didn't do it he wouldn't bet paid.

Then he walked down. He had short orange hair, tight jeans hugging his ample rear, and a crop to showing off some muscular abs for such a skinny guy. His dark eyes scanned the maintenance worker in quiet thought.

'Wow, he's not half bad looking.' This job could be a lot better than he thought.

"Damn you are late. Is it usual for you to be this tardy to customer's house? I mean come on, I wasn't expecting much and you still fucked up." Ichigo said to him.

Grimmjow sighed. He just HAD to open his mouth, he was so hot and he just had to ruin it.

"Sorry, my last job had left me covered shit, so I decided to change so you didn't have to deal with the smell." Grimmjow said as nicely as he could. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

Ichigo walked over and gave him an engine about the size of his head.

"This burnt out after a few hours of use…..I need it fixed and taken care of ASAP." The ginger man said.

Grimmjow blinked. "What was it for? I need to know in order to fix it so that it operates properly."

Ichigo nodded and rubbed his head. "Some sort of piston thing, look I would LOVE to tell you all about how to do your job but I gotta go to work. Oh, by the way, that Lincoln outside, yeah that's my car. What does a handyman drive now a days?" He said with a smirk before heading out.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes and sighed. "Hey, where do I put this when I'm done?" He asked the leaving ginger.

Ichigo looked over his shoulder. "Just put it in my closet, up the stairs, second room on the right." He said and opened the elevator doors. He stepped in and disappeared behind the sliding metallic doors.

Grimmjow sighed and looked at the motor. It seemed that this would be an annoying yet thankfully quick job. He took the thing apart and looked inside. The wires seemed to have melted together and shorted it out. He took a pair of wire cutters apart and removed the old melted conglomerate of wires out. After some measuring and some cutting, he put the wiring back where they should be. His electric work wasn't great but he was sure a simple motor like this would work. He put it back together and sighed, taking the walk up to the room.

The room looked very nice, a queen sized bed against the wall with a light brown bed set on it. A large mahogany dresser opposite of the bed with a fifty inch TV on the top of it. Looking through an ajar door, he saw a full bathroom as well. He shook his head and opened the closet door. A normal wardrobe of clothes hung there, and he was about to leave the small motor on one of the shelves when something caught his eye, a large metal machine half hidden in the back. Moving some of the clothes, Grimmjow was able to see the hidden machine….and had really wished he hadn't.

A giant dildo machine was hidden in the back of the closet, the black metal chassis shining as the light hit it, a long cord connected to a dial remote at the bottom, a place for the motor that had been removed and last, but not least, a light blue dildo around six inches long was on the end of it. He rolled his eyes and attached the motor to the machine and turned it on. It slowly thrusted forward and backward, a mechanical whirr audible as it did. He turned it off and put it all back and closed the doors. This job was not paying enough.

He walked out, grabbing his bag and noticed a flyer next to it. It was purple and pink with big yellow letters. 'Come to the Thot Trot, the town's premiere all male strip club!' And on a little yellow star it featured the stripper named Strawberry. Grimmjow sighed and took the flyer. Why not, after all he could use a little release. He had a little money he could burn and besides this would be the most fun he had in a while, no customers and someone would be taking HIS orders for a while.

His work day ended a few hours later with him repairing an air conditioning unit on a hot metal roof. He returned home, showered and put on a new outfit, a faded tee shirt and a pair of jeans. He put on a pair of shoes and got in his truck, which was parked next to his work van. It was an old Chevy Silverado with manual transmission. He started it up, and pulled out of the driveway, and left for the club. There wasn't really a line so after the bouncer cleared him, he made his way inside.

The building was dark, stale smoke hung in the air and annoying music pulsed loudly. There was random tables strewn about and multiple broken and wobbly chairs around them. There was a bar against one of the walls, with multiple bottle of liquor on the wall behind it. Some guy was dancing on the main stage as muscular men strolled around in speedo's offering drinks and dances. Grimmjow sighed and walked up to the bar and sighed. "I need you to get me drunk enough that coming here seems like a good idea." He said and placed money on the sticky wooden surface. Five shots of whiskey later he had a smirk on his face that would send a shiver down anyone's spine.

"Next up, our star attraction, the one you all came for! Strawberry!" The announcer said. Purple lights shined on the curtain at the end of the stage, the curtains parting to show off the stripper. Grimmjow turned from the bar and looked, his eyes narrowing as he took in the sight.

"No. Fucking. Way." He said with a smirk. Ichigo walked down the stage, a pair of tight blue jeans on and a pink button up shirt. He sauntered down the glassy runway, hips slightly swinging as the music pumped up louder. He stopped and rested a hand on the pole, licking his lips.

"Soooooo, who's gonna pay to see what I'm hiding under these?" He asked putting a thumb in the waistline of his jeans and pulling what little slack his jeans had out. Whistles rang out as money flew towards the stage.

Ichigo smirked wider, undoing the top three buttons of his shirt, his flat yet slightly muscular chest on display as he walked around the stage. As more money flew in, more buttons were undone, and the shirt was slid off onto the floor, where the ginger stripper kicked it off the stage where it joined the money. His chest and back were muscular yet he was still very thin, and his back muscles were quite predominant as well as he stretched.

Grimmjow couldn't believe his eyes. That asshole of a customer was a stripper at a seedy joint like this? It was almost too good to be true! Ichigo did a jump, spinning around the pole, his bare feet swinging in the air. Before landing down again and chuckling, unbuttoning his pants. They slid off as well, revealing a tight pink thong, tailored to show off his bulge while still leaving some up to the imagination. His ass on the other hand was almost 100% on show with just a thin piece of fabric separating his round cheeks. On closer inspection a small strawberry seemed to actually be tattooed on his right ass cheek. He smiled as spun again, legs wrapping around the pole and his left arm going out. He stopped upside down and smiled, before his eyes opened wide.

Grimmjow had gone through enough teasing and was on the stage with a bound stack of hundreds in his hand. "Hey there Strawberry Shortcake, how about we have a little fun in a private booth?" He asked with a smirk.

"Oh shit." Ichigo whispered, his heart hitting the floor as he saw the handyman he had heckled earlier. He had a bad feeling brewing as his show ended and he hurried off of the stage.


End file.
